Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Watermelon makes kids wee a lot, and Poo story

Warning this story involves kids poo and wee

Ok so i normally write about paper and things surrounding paper, but i have had one of those days and i think in order for me to let go of this day, i need to write it down!
So this morning at about 5am my husband bought our very sad 4 year old into our bed. He has nightmares quite a bit and i thought he had had another bad dream, once he cuddled in he went straight to sleep. I remember thinking YESSSS its 5am and i still have a couple hours sleep and i went back into a deep sleep with my little man cuddled under my arm!
My Husband left at 6am and he is working on the road until Thursday so i remember saying goodbye in a haze. Luckily for us our little man is one to sleep in so when my alarm went off at 8am i happily hit the snooze for 10 minutes! i started to get ready before he woke up as i knew when he woke up it was breaky and getting ready for kindy..He has to be there about 9:30 and then i can be to the shop before we open at 10:00am......SO at 8:30 my little sleepy eyed, bed head, beautiful morning boy that he normally is, woke with very rosey cheeks and tears in his eyes :( "Mummy Meine nose not working" AWWW poor thing had a stuffed nose that for some reason was also running, and a delightful cough. Now for Iggy to even mention that he doe not feel good is strange! He and my brother Sam(22yrs) are the only humans on earth that will not even mention or act sick even when they are very ill. I remember my brother was in hospital after an operation and clearly looked in pain, and when my Mum asked him 'are u ok dahl, should we get a nurse' he just shrugged and said ' nah its all good'...it was not 'all good' at all....they just never complain and just seem to suck it up, so when my little man had a tear running down his face, i knew he was feeling yuk!
We have all had this stupid cough/cold/body aching sickness all last week, so i guess it is Iggy's turn. Steve and I are the type of parens to keep Iggy home from kindy when he is sick cos well, we are caring, plus i dont want the other kiddies getting sick, cos that's just mean, and they all end up continually getting sick. This is where my dilemma started. My brother is stayng with me and was ok to look after him at night but had a training thing on in the day, My mum not only works for me but also has other jobs, my Dad was working on the other side of the city, my other brother works full time and his partner is at home but their little girl has been sick and clearly didn't need to get sick again and Steve is away!
So in the small time frame i had, i had no choice but to take him to work with me....BUT i needed artillery....i grabbed the beanbag, his crotchet blanket, luckily my husband had made his kindy lunch the night before so i took that in his kindy bag(THANK GOODNESS more about that later) and trains, track, colouring, sticker books, DVD's and my laptop!
I was starting sewing class tonight so i had my sewing machine, all my sewing bits n pieces as well as my work stuff and we somehow got out the door at 9:36 which is fine cos it takes 10 minutes to get to my shop so all good.
THEN as i was loading the car with all the bits, luckily i have a 4WD witha good boot i needed it today, i saw it....FLAT TIRE...oh my freaking goodness...c'moooooon.....its just a slow leak LUCKILY and i have a petrol station very close so i filled her up and off we went coughing and snotting all over the place.
1 minute later as we approached the Bilgola Bends traffic was stopped..FUCK, just perfect!!
it was backed up the entire Bends because they were sweeping leaves in Newport. Thank goodness for all the signs that people put up, u can have a little look at some signs we get to see every day at Round The Bends!!
So finally when i approached Mona Vale i was feeling a little less anxious as it was only 3 minutes to 10:00 which is annoying but not as late as i thought it was going to be. As i turned into the driveway(i have parking out the back of my shop) i realised this week they were starting reno's on the building which meant...tradies...tradies and their many vans and Utes and trucks taking up my fucking parking spots....bitches...there is nothing that pisses me off more than someone parking in my two spots that i pay shit loads of rent for every flipping week! i felt my heart start to race and pretty sure i went red not only in my face but my hair ends were sizzling. Luckily there was one spot in front of the fish n chip shops spot but they don't often have two cars there. I parked and tried to calm my soul, unloaded the car which felt like i was unpacking for a holiday there was so much stuff. Got Iggy out, who 'needed to be carried' of coarse, then asked the very lovely fish n chip man if it was ok if i parked in his spot and he was so happy as always and said 'of coarse', which seriously made my day and we then got in the shop!!!
Now usually Tuesday is the quiet day so this was why i wasn't too worried about Iggy being with me at the shop....but today, we started with 6 very lovely gals from Newcastle ready to shop!!!
So the day was busy but ok not too out of control, but a fatal mistake that was made today by me was giving Iggy at 10:30 some watermelon...if u are a Mum u should know, this is the fruit of choice to induces many many wee's through out the day!
I do not have a toilet in my shop, there is some in the upstairs office, and also some out the back near the car park. As Iggy only just turned 4 he cant just walk off to the toilet when needed, he needs his Mum or Dad or responsible adult to help! i was alone in the shop and Iggy by 12:30 had done 6 wee's...6 WEE'S!! i was lucky that at one point of the morning Jack(16yrs) who i used to be the Nanny for their family, popped in for a visit and bought me a sugar free redbull...LOVE YOUR GUTS JACK, and he took him for a toilet visit, but the other times we had no choice but to use a jar i had out back....now some of you may think this is gross, but if you are a mum i am pretty sure there has been a situation in your life where u have had to take your child to some strange 'toilet' whether it be a jar, or a bucket or a sink or wherever the hell you can find! Thank goodness for the sink and washing up liquid for cleaning and the fact he a boy and well its a lot easier, but man watermelon makes kids wee a lot.
So by 2pm Iggy was doing very well, he had snuggled on his beanbag and watched movies and played Thomas the tank games on the Internet and played puzzles and really been a very good little man. THEN i smelt something, there was a customer in store and for a minute i thought she had let one rip...trust me it happens a lot haha, but then i had a thought...Iggy has been very quiet for a while...as a parent we know that quiet means they are either asleep, doing something naughty or doing a POO.....OH GOD...the smell. I asked Iggy quietly, 'bubby, do u need to go to the toilet' his little face was a bit pale and he said 'nahhh i just popped' haha, so i was feeling a little bit relaxed, then i got chatting with a customer and a cute little face was standing next to me with those very big blue eyes and said 'mummy, i really need to do a poo'... i said 'can u hang on for two seconds lil man'.......'mmmmmmm' was all he said.....i think we were in the 'turtle head poking out' point and he couldn't hold on for any longer...the customer who was chatting with me clearly didn't understand the seriousness of the situraton and just gave him the 'awwww cute' smile face and continued to try and chat with me...clearly not a mother. She finally left and just as i was grabbing the keys to run another person was in the shop...Iggy was dancing up and down really needing to get upstairs. Luckily for me the customer that was in the shop didn't like smiling and didn't like that i said 'hello how you going?" to her and left...and then we bolted....i left all the stock out the front of the shop shut the door and threw Iggy over my shoulder and bolted....we didn't make it....i wrapped the undies up and threw them out....i wont describe the severity of what was happening but lets just say...THANK GOODNESS I BOUGHT THE KINDY BAG WITH SPARE UNDIES AND PANTS.... so now, we were dealing with this cough,snot, hot head, diarrhea situation...with no toilet access easily and only 1 spare pare of pants. the next 2 times it was going to happen, no one was around and i bolted and it was cool....at 4:35 my dad finally rang to say 'hey i will be there at 5:30' to get Iggy so you can go to your sewing class and i was being optimistic about everything thinking it was all going to be sweet, then a lovely lady was in my shop looking for cards and gifts and i was telling her Iggy was unwell and wow what a day and she was very understanding as she has 3 kids, and just as i was putting her sale through that cute little pale faced blue eyes angel was looking at me. The lady was so nice and helped me throw everything in her bag and grabbed things out of the way and pulled the door shut for me cos she knew it was time to run...THANK YOU LOVELY LADY IN MY SHOP AT 4:48pm today!
Iggy had already ran up the stairs ahead of me and as i was getting to the top of the stairs where he met me and he said 'my bum exploded in there' and laughed and i really had to laugh but i also realised his pant had been pulled up no wipe...that's our job still.....GAME OVER!!!
Usually i shut at 5:30, but for the sake of my sanity and my poor little mans bottom i shut up shop and cancelled sewing, because well Mums are probably the only humans on earth that can deal with 'poo' issues! there was no way in hell my dad would even know how to change a nappy when he was a baby let a lone deal with diarrhea and my brother can hardly get his washing done let alone deal with his nephews poo, NO this was a job only Mummy could handle today! So as we drove home dreaming of how wonderful that bath would be and the loads of washing to be done, just as we came into Avalon. Iggy fell asleep...with poo stuck to his bum and my car smelling delightful.

Just a little side note to totally gross u out..... on Saturday, i got some dinner supplies from Thomas Dux and thought i would get a little treat for Steve and Iggy. Steve being Canadian i bought him some Root beer and Iggy a cream soda, the fancy clear kind. For some reason Iggy wanted his Blue and Green, so i put a bit in his cup and put like 1 drop of green food dye and he loved it and when he was finishing off the rest of the bottle he asked Steve if he could have it blue.....so instead of 1 drop, Steve got a little food colour crazy and well Iggy's mouth was blue even after i brushed his teeth....soo yeah, did you know that if u give kids too much food dye their poo goes like paint green for a week.....yeah that's what I'm dealing with today!!!

Iggy is going to hate my guts when he reads this when he is older haha...hello future Iggy, Mummy loves you!

you can buy Cream Soda at Thomas Dux don't food dye


  1. My Word! What a day you had indeed! With three kids I can honestly say - I hear ya. Feel better soon Iggy!

  2. ooh i hear you mama....poor Iggy and brill juggling skills on you part!!!

  3. Omg, thanks for making me laugh so hard I have tears.... I have had a fabulous exciting but oh so tiring week and I feel like crap tonight but with a solid G&T finished and your story under my belt I am smiling....Jayde... I must , must , must come and see you next week in the shop....and I Will!

  4. haha oh thank you for that laugh.. i so know how you felt.. being a mummy is so hard - people without kids just dont understand the whole poo/wee/vomit factor.